I think I wrote before about how I was struggling with what felt like a contemporary style in my poleography pole classes (Body and Pole choreography class, holla!), and I finally feel like I’m starting to get with the program!
I was struggling with taking myself/my movements seriously when they weren’t sexy, and oddly enough, I think ballet has built up my confidence with this. (Yes, I started taking ballet once a week because, while I sadly let my Groupon for a Real Dance Studio expire, my gym has a class taught by an excellent, real ballerina… that is totally included in my membership. She’s 100% legit–constantly correcting our form (nicely) and telling us how movements should feel–and I LOVE HER.)
So now that my head is chock full of “PULL UP” and “LINES” and “GET ON YOUR LEG” it’s easier to turn off the part of my brain that helpfully narrates my dancing with “OH SHIT OH SHIT I LOOK STUPID.”
So anyway this isn’t anything particularly graceful, but I was feelin’ it and I think it shows.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the past year (probably because of that mid-year review blog hop going around), and how this was the year that I just kind of threw it on automatic. These days, I don’t think about it too hard–I just get my ass to the gym. I just stretch after every workout. I just go to the studio for pole twice a week and ballet once a week. I just. fucking. do it. And I stop immediately checking for results every time I do, because it’s a lifestyle, and I’m down with that. As they say in the ballet world, love the pain.
And you know what? I’m starting to see huge, permanent changes in my dancing. My lines are better. My flexibility shows. My hands and feet aren’t “dead,” even when I forget about them. These are huge wins for me!! It’s those things that make the difference between “looking terrible while learning choreo and then kind of making it passable” and “looking OK while learning it, then making it beautiful and emotive when it’s mastered.”
This is going to sound weird, but my body-mind connection is getting stronger too. Now, when I think about a movement I want to make, what I see in the mirror or video usually resembles what I WANT to see. I cannot stress enough how much this was not the case before. I would practice at home for hours thinking a routine looked great and then not even recognized the choreography once I saw myself doing it on tape.
These are small things that feel important to me because they’re real changes. I’ve learned tricks and then lost them a few weeks later, but these skills feel “for good.”
What changes have YOU made this year? What were your biggest accomplishments? Let’s pretend it’s still July and blog-hop this bitch!