Gross stuff nobody tells you about pole dancing: YOUR BUTT SWEATS/IS TRYING TO KILL YOU

Le me, poling at home:

lol nbd, hanging upside down, then answering a text. Ain’t nothing but a thang.

Me in the studio last night: FALLING. CANNOT STAY ON THE DAMN POLE.

Like, wearing the short shorts, gripping in the right spot, legs locked, and WHOOMPH, right down like a firefighter for a 5 alarm fire.

I kept putting Dry Hands on my inner thighs, which would work for 5 seconds and then I would start sliding again. So frustrating. Until I figured it out what the problem was.


If you know anything about pole competitions, you’ll know what gluteal fold is (the part where your butt and your legs UNITE (please read that in a Captain Planet voice, it would make me happy), that is not allowed to show in some of the serious competitions).

I was wearing shorty shorts where were totally covering my GF, but, they probably weren’t tight enough. As in, they weren’t close enough to my skin to prevent the inevitable hour-and-15-minutes-into-an-intense-class-sweat from pooling nastily in the inner thigh area… which I kind of needed to be all dry and reliable if I wasn’t going to fall to my death.

You had one job, thighs.

So there you have it: gluteal fold sweat. A thing you need to worry about now. But thankfully, a thing that can be resolved with tighter shorts… preferably cotton ones (polyester/spandex blends is probably another source of the problem).

I wish the world understood this. Can we pass out fliers or something? “Pole dancers must wear tight/small clothing, this has nothing to do with sluttiness.”

So what’s new with y’all? I learned a very pretty compass spin at B&P last night that I can’t show you because my house is small and I keep kicking my refrigerator. Fill me in!



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