Fired. And other setbacks.

Oy. It’s been a week.

Me imitating Grump The Sheep, who poops brown jelly beans, on Christmas. This face represents my feelings this week.
With Grumpy The Sheep, who poops brown jelly beans, on Christmas. This face represents my feelings this week.

So, exciting stuff, kids: I got fired from my night job as a lifeguard.

As bad as this is, just, even without any context, it’s extra cringe-worthy because I am a perfectionist goody-two-shoes who has NEVER BEEN FIRED FROM ANYTHING, and, I’ve worked there for almost four years.

So I’ve been angstin’, hard.

I don’t think I’ll miss the job (though I will miss the people, I considered most of them friends). I mean, no more shitty towels. No more ridiculous “safety surveys” about diabetes that I have to read and answer multiple choice questions about on my own time. No more endless, pointless emails starting with “Team,” and then follow-up emails asking my why I didn’t answer the email that started with “Team,” fast enough, even though I am AT AT MY DAY JOB RIGHT NOW GUYS and seriously, 12 bucks an hour is not enough pay to answer job-related emails in my off time.


Also, there was the time they demanded all employees have our photos taken and give our background and educational info (“for the staff page of the website”) and then I walked into the gym one day and saw my picture and PERSONAL EMAIL ADDRESS plastered on the wall by the towels and water fountain for all to see. Not cool.

And then there was the day they took away the staff’s  “kitchen privileges” so I had nowhere to store my lunch during a 10 hour weekend shift.

In hindsight: this was not a great loss.

Anyway, in case you were wondering, I wasn’t fired for doing anything awful or intentional. I was fired because a steam room flooded overnight after my shift.  It cost money. I was canned.

I found out that I was fired, by phone, the same day I was given an audition to teach somewhere new. Yay! Until I found out that the month and a half of training (21 hours a week), would be unpaid, and starting wages for instruction after that would be less than I made life guarding. (See the above dollar per hour amount for reference).

Like. Seriously? In case you’re not familiar with instructor wages in the pole world, that’s about a 5th of what studios generally pay. And as well they should–it’s hard work, a lot of responsibility, and as a contractor, the taxes that come out of that are pretty devastating.

I’m all for training and experience, and dancing for the love of it, but, let’s not get crazy–work is work. So, as much as I hate turning down opportunities to dance and teach, I said no. Ugh. I was really excited for a new gig, but, a girl’s gotta eat.

Speaking of gigs: you guys probably already figured this out from the lack of class postings, but I don’t teach at EDC anymore–they decided to go the party route and stopped offering instructional classes. And I just hate standing in heels too much to do parties on a regular basis. So, I’m gig-less. I know. I’m sad too. WE’RE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS.

Somebody tell me a story of when they got fired and things turned out just fine, please? I feel like such a delinquent.

Love, twirls, and gainful employment,



  1. Ugh. They should have fixed their pipes, lame. SUPER LAME studio though. Unpaid training? No reputable business does that. Good for you, their loss. I hope things all fall into place quickly!

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