Don’t freak out, we’re going to get through this!!!
First: watch this. It’s Channing Tatum dancing to Pony by Ginuwine. If anything’s going to make you feel better right away, it is this.
I’m not even talking about the ass cheeks here! Just the passion and flow make me feel jazzy.
(Side note: why do male strippers throw you around and aggressively put their balls in your face? I think I would pay them not to do that. And also, the stripping should end at the pants, because G-strings is where things stop being sexy and start getting ridiculous). BUT ANYWAY.
1. If you have a pole, you should freestyle, son! In between eating those 6-7 meals a day (consisting of cookies) that we’re all having right now, that is. Don’t bother working on anything hard–it’s a snow day, duh!
Here’s some songs to get you started. (Sorry, it’s all hip hop… you guys know me. If you like Evanescence, you’re on your own)
1. Jhene Aiko, The Worst
She’s my new favorite singer, since I heard her on Drake’s From Time (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED, but I already included it on my Drake playlist, so I had to skip it this time :||||| )
2. The Weeknd, Montreal
Part of this song is in French. Bitch. Speaking of French, is it just me or is there a Cirque du Soleil feel here? Like you should be dancing with a fog machine?
3. Show Me, Kid Ink
Ugh, this video just reminded me that Chris Brown is in this, and is still very much a piece of shit. Sorry guys. STOP MAKING CATCHY MUSIC CHRIS BROWN.
4. Partition, Beyonce
Okay I’m actually not much of a Beyonce fan, but I saw this choreo video and holy. fuck. I hate it when guys in high heels put my best attempts at being sexy and having attitude to shame 😐
Anyway, BONUS ACTIVITY: teach yourself this bomb ass routine:
5. Betterman, Musiq
Okay so this one’s a wild card; it’s really soulful and fun. Musiq is so… uplifting. FUCK, I said it, so corny. Oh well, I find I dance a different way to the upbeat stuff and it helps me bust ruts. See what it does for you!
6. Limit to Your Love, James Blake (Feist cover)
I first heard this song in a bellydance performance and only JUST NOW remembered that it would be sick on the pole.
2. Don’t have a pole? Workout on your floor! PopSugar has some INCREDIBLE workouts that will kick your ass and improve your mood with no equipment or just a set of dumbells… in 10 minutes or less. Seriously, you thought you were in shape until that second set of mountain climber/push up combos. Yeesh. (No, they didn’t pay me to write this, I just stumbled on the workouts over Thanksgiving and they’ve successfully help me ward off the Holiday 5, even away from the studio).
OR, you can just put a playlist on and spend one song doing all the ab exercises you know, one song squatting and lunging, another song alternating tricep dips and lady pushups… BAM, you are done!
3. Watch a dance movie! This week alone I saw Magic Mike, Step Up 1, 2, and 3, Honey 2, and a couple of ballet documentaries. It’s fun and potentially enlightening–and you just may find new floor work or flow moves, or discover some music for when your studio thaws out! Or…. you could do what I usually do and Google “movies with pole dance” or “movies about strippers” to find more specific, um, inspiration.
4. Try to incorporate a new dance style into your pole moves. It sounds silly, but, try a classic jazz step, salsa spin combo, tango dip, on the pole–make a game out of trying to work it into your flow. It’s fun, and mixes things up! If you didn’t pick anything up from that dance crew movie I just made you watch (soooorry), try YouTubing the Rumba or twerking or the foxtrot something. Whatever rings your bell. New and novel is the name of the game. It doesn’t have to be good.
5. Film yourself. I dare you. Practice is always more fun when you have the option of showing off. Bonus bravery points if you’re doing something a little experimental. And when you do… please send me the link to the vid!!!