BREAKING NEWS: 300 Sandwiches Chick Cried After Her Pole Dancing Class

She didn’t feel sexy enough.

Reenactment of what this girl's boyfriend looks like. NOT sandwich-worthy. And possibly undead.
Reenactment of what this girl’s boyfriend looks like. NOT sandwich-worthy. And possibly undead.

Jeeeeeeeeeeeez o’petes this makes me sad.

First, the whole story makes me feel yucky. Guy tells girlfriend, “Babe, you are 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring.”

Girl “jokingly” starts a blog documenting her sandwich-making pipeline to a rock. Except, how much of a “joke” is this if she’s calculating the time breakdown of sandwich making/distribution so that she can be engaged and married before her mid-thirties?

How much of a joke is it if she’s seriously and in earnest using words like “wife material”? How secure is she in herself and her relationship if she’s freaking out at a pole dancing class because “not looking sexy enough” means her boyfriend is going to look at other girls?

None of this seems particularly funny to me.

Not that I’m being judgy here–I completely empathize with her. But let’s just call it what this whole sandwich experiment is: a tactic to win love and approval from somebody who should already love and approve of you. And that’s fucked up. It’s not cute. It’s not a joke. And if somebody dangles a ring in front of you like it’s some kind of carrot on a stick for you to prove that you’re “wife material,” I’ll have to quote Dan Savage and advise you to DTMF.

As far as this woman’s experience with pole dancing, as a teacher, I can tell you she’s hardly in the minority for crying after. Girls get really down on themselves in beginner classes for not being able to achieve a stripper aesthetic within their first hour. Which is crazy to me, because who is even looking at you? Your boyfriend is not here! This is about learning tricks and having fun, and sweating a little in the process. If you already walked in looking like a rock star on the pole, why bother taking a class? It’s about learning and having fun, not being perfect or using the class as a litmus test for how hot you are.

If there is any man-related sexy to be gained from pole dance, it comes from the confidence you get through expressing yourself. Chances are, as a beginner, you don’t have a pole at home, and no men are allowed in the studio. All you take with you when you finish a class is how you feel. If you come out down and crying over not looking sexy enough, what’s the point?

Oh and NEWSFLASH: most men don’t even find what I do on the pole now sexy. What they really like to see is what I promise you everyone can already do: pop your booty, flip your hair, and smirk like you know exactly what you’re doing.

You don’t need a class for that. (Seriously, try it the next time you’re at a club: make eye contact with a guy, smile, and do a little head roll while you’re dancing. That is NOT a banana in his pants, ladies).

stephanie smith
Okay so IRL he has a tan, but STILL.

Moral of the story: if you have a boyfriend, he should love you. Sandwiches are bonus. Pole dancing is bonus. And if you DO want to do these things, for god’s sake, do them because you genuinely want to. Life is too short for crying after class.

OH, just wondering though… can we all speculate as to which studio she went to? Clues: Midtown, and the class is likely called “Climb and Spin”… GO!

Happy (SELFISH) twirls!

Cathy

4 Comments

  1. I can easily see her boyfriend saying that, but she taking it as far is she did was good for her. She is everywhere now and will probably have a cooking book and a blog in the next 2 years. I did not see it as him dangling a carrot. Men marry who they want to marry and they will do so when they are ready. She is a very savvy women who latched on to an idea that took off. She is playing on women’s fear of never getting married by teaching them how to create simple meals to keep their man happy. He’s happy and she can make a sandwich. I’m surprised people took it so seriously.

    If all my man needs is a sandwich from me, while he is cooking me gourmet meals that is fine by me!

    Now the pole thing is different, because we are pole dancers. We knew very early on this is what we wanted to do and we saw it from a different place. She is seeing how the rest of the public sees it — how to be a sex kitten. And she didn’t feel like a sex-kitten so she cried, which is a better blog post then, ” I took a pole class and it was harder than I thought.”

    Sidenote: Your posts are so damn entertaining!

  2. 300 sandwiches… if my man wants a sammich he knows where the kitchen =] nice being a grown up lol =]
    I have yet to cry after a class, i was on the verge of tears in a class one day because I keep forgetting that I’m new to this and hate that I can’t just do stuff but I pulled myself together, one because there were some pretty awesome polers in the room and I’d have died if I cried in front of them, two because I have an amazing instructor who could tell I was struggling and talked sense into me before I actually started bubbling and three because I was always taught that nothing will be handed to me for free. I’m sure one day I’ll feel sexy and strong and awesome… crying ain’t gonna get me there lol
    how are the mid air choppers going girlie?
    Bx

    • lol @ “he knows where the kitchen is” haha! look up “ordering 300 sandwiches,” it’s soooo funny. in all seriousness though, the pressure we all put on ourselves to be PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT is insane.

      • last night even our instructor was struggling with some stuff and made a few mistakes, which she then corrected right away but it was super reassuring to me that if she isn’t perfect then there isn’t any pressure for me to be =] x

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