First mean comment! AM I INTERNET FAMOUS NOW???

So here’s how you know you’ve made it: somebody goes to the trouble of creating a temporary email account just so they can say something generically mean on your tiny pole blog. (You’re a slut who is dumb! and ugly! You are an ugly, dumb slut! (paraphrasing, but you get the idea)).

I mean, honestly, I’m flattered. I’ve been hungry for like, an hour, and I’m not eating yet because I can’t be bothered to stand up and retrieve the apple I know I have in the fridge.

And this person created a WHOLE EMAIL ACCOUNT.


But, gentle troller, here’s what I take issue with:

(in list form, of course):

1. You called me a “jump off” and I had to look it up for the privilege of being insulted.

No lie, I had to use urban dictionary because I didn’t know what a jump off was. All for the reward of having my feelings mildly hurt.  What’s so wrong with the word “whore,” amirite?

2. You said I should apologize for my face. That’s fair, but then I had to go and find a picture of my face to post and it was time consuming and reminded me of an unsavory date.

Campbell's soup, holla!
Campbell’s soup, holla!

Just to respond to this statement in a smart ass fashion, I had to dig through my camera for an actual close up photo of my face, of which I have very, very few. I found this one, which I took before a blind date a couple of weeks ago because I liked my eye makeup (ironically, it didn’t really show up in the two photos).

Bonus bitch-face photo because it seems topically appropriate.
Bonus bitch-face photo because it seems topically appropriate.

Anyway, I’m annoyed because now I’m looking at this photo, and I’m remembering how awkward that date was, because I got there and the guy was soooo obviously gay, but didn’t seem to know it, and I just kept ordering drinks and asking questions about his job because POLITENESS.

Wait what were we talking about? Oh yeah, sorry for my face!

3. You called me dumb and that offends me on behalf of pole dancers

Le sigh.

Listen, I’m really not insecure about being smart or dumb, or whatever.

I was a bookworm in school. I took calculus and read heavy books and learned to fly a plane and got scholarships, etc, not that any of that matters. To be frank, this whole sexy girl-on-a-pole identity is pretty new to me, so it’s almost flattering to be called something akin to a slut. I have literally never been called that. It’s… interesting.

But I think it’s super lame for girls put other girls in one of same two, age-old categories: smart and unattractive, or sexy and dumb.

I mean, I guess you put me in the sexy category because of the jump-off thing, (thanks!), but poo on you for doing the same, boring ol’ stereotype thing I know you wouldn’t want done to you: one-dimensionalizing multi-dimensional people because they have vaginas. And possibly because you’re threatened by their sexy(ish?) pole dancing hobbies.

That sucks, please don’t do that.

If it freaks you out that sometimes girls do sexy things like pole dance and ALSO make complete sentences, welp, that sucks. Because it’s very reflective of a society that makes us choose every day: smart or sexy. Dumb or ugly. Winning or losing. It makes us scared and cagey about what each of us has got to offer. I get that.

But I still think it doesn’t have to be that way.

Anyway, to EVERYBODY: thank you for reading, thank you for commenting (nice or mean, feedback is always so exciting and appreciated), and thank you, troller, for helping me toughen up a little. I hope that if you’re going through something that’s bumming you out, or you had an experience that made you dislike pole girls, it works out. We’re not so bad, I promise.

Love and happy twirls,



  1. I definitely think this makes you internet famous! I feel the people who write stuff like that must be really, really unhappy- I mean, if I have no interest or disagree with something, I typically respond by not reading it or making it part of my life. And honestly, you write really interesting blog posts about stuff that really matters to a lot of people, so I’m not sure what she found that wasn’t to like…Anyways, I love your response. Particularly the section about categorizing as smart/dumb sexy/ugly.

    • Thank you!! And yes, I completely agree. It’s hard not to take stuff personally, but I had to ask myself how miserable I’d have to be to go to that kind of trouble to wreck someone’s day. And the answer was “really, really miserable. Like, just found out I had cancer-miserable.” So, how can you even really be mad? But setting the personal stuff aside, I get REALLY po’d when people dismiss pole girls as dumb sluts (usually because they wish they had the balls to try pole and they don’t). When that happens I have to start taking off my jewelry… 😉

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