On telling 17 strange men I pole dance! (also known as this one time I went speed dating)

So I guess there’s no other way to tell this story than to admit I went speed dating.



Now that that’s out of the way…  

This was my first time! I didn’t know what to expect, but my friend K (who’s done this several times over a few years) promised it would be cool and that there’s only a COUPLE of creeps.

I mean, I kinda didn’t care, because I’m in a phase right now where the thought of long term relationships kinda grosses me out (DON’T KILL MY VIBE, BOYS). So, more fun to meet a bunch of weirdos and have a story to tell than to accidentally meet some guy I have to pick out sheets with in a few months. Ew.

ANYWAY. Because I obviously didn’t care enough to try and look wife-like, I decided to conduct a sociological experiment: how will these guys treat me after I tell them I pole dance?

Better? Worse? Indifferent? Humping my leg?

So, I’d spend the first four minutes of my five minute dates being charming and polite and interested in their investment banking careers, and then blurt out the answer to their inevitable question: “So dance instructor, huh? What kind of dance?”


(Okay that’s not what I said, but I was thinking it in sort of shrieking tones)

(I was nervous!)

“Actually,” I would say, leaning in and grinning conspiratorially (boys like that!), “believe it or not, I pole dance!”

And then you guys… the facial expressions… so, so priceless.

How to describe them: delight? bewilderment? happy surprise? disbelief?

What I did NOT get: judgment, horror, or an elevation in creepiness levels (I KNOW, I’M SHOCKED TOO).

They were all just kind of tickled and curious about it. A few had stories about cousins and friends who had taken lessons and loved it too. I think more than the actual pole dancing, the positive reactions I got were surrounding how passionate I am about dancing–how I would tell the story of how I loved it so much that I had to be at the studio fives times a week, and that’s how I got an offer to teach. 

So I guess my conclusion is, most men are great. Like women, they liked to be surprised and intrigued. They like women with interests, hobbies, passions. Seeing that for myself made me like men even MORE. They’re people too, you guys! THEY ARE NOT ALWAYS JUST SEX OBJECTS. (jokes!)

And, bonus: K and I have dates on Saturday! I mean, not really, because they’re 24 years old. But, they’re semi-pro salsa dancers, and they invited us to their favorite club. How are we going to say no to that?!!

Do you guys typically just blurt out that you pole dance, or do you keep it closer to your chest?

Would you ever speed date?



  1. I really enjoyed this post! Wish I had an instructor job offer! 🙂 Lucky you! I love pole dancing so much I tend to tell people but I have to explain it very well as, in Portugal, people still think of strip tease right away!

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